ADAB OF THE MUREED

By: Hajj Mustafa Ali

On offering and Receiving Advice

When offering advice one must do so humbly, being aware of the feelings and attitude of the one you are trying to consul.  Always check your intentions before proceeding.  It is always recommended to recite surat ul Fatiha before delivering your advice. 

In receiving consul, be humble and take what is being handed to you.  If it applies immediately acknowledge it and thank the advice giver.  If it does not apply then accept the advice and refrain from argument and defending yourself.  Allah knows the truth of the matter.

On the Kissing of Hands 

The kissing of hands is a way of recognizing and honoring your brothers on the path.  It is an intimate act that reflects the real connection between the people of the path to self - knowledge.  The hands are symbolic of the highest of names, Allah, as well as they represent the 99 names of Allah. 

When the tip of the forefinger and the tip of the thumb meet they form the divine name.  This can easily be observed by holding the hands in that position and looking upon them from their backside.  On the inner palm there are two prominent lines that stand out over the other lines on the hands, and form the Arabic symbols for ‘one’ and ‘eight’ or eighteen (18).  When you embrace the right hand of your brother, his hand displaying the opposite number 81.  Your hands combine 18  and 81, adding up to 99. 

The kissing of the hands is also like the kissing of the black stone in the Ka’ba.  It represents the intimate experience of unveiling that takes place between a wayfarer and his ultimate destination.  It is the point where the lines of differentiation between the lover and the beloved vanish. 

When kissing your brothers hand keep in mind it’s meaning and allow it to become a window for you to peer out into the garden of spiritual delights. 

When kissing hands, race to be the first to kiss.  Do not “give” your hand to your brother to kiss.  You both are offering the hand of Allah to each other.  Do not wait until it is kissed first, it’s not yours to offer in the first place.  The best greeting is when both hands are kissed simultaneously. 

It is permissible to offer your hands to be kissed without reciprocation, to children, your wife, or to younger novices on the path.  It is a way of creating respect in them for the path and to those on it.  This is not a hard and fast rule, use discretion in any case. 

The adab in kissing the hand of your Shaykh is to kiss his hand if he extends it to you and do not expect to have your hand kissed by him.  Never pause to wait for him to do so.  If he should kiss your hand consider it an honor and receive it with great humility. 

Glossary of Terms

Aba

A cloak, worn on the shoulder, can be used to cover feet. 

Adab

Inner courtesy expressing itself as graciousness in right actions. 

Astaghfir’ullah

“I seek forgiveness of Allah."  Seeking covering from Allah from the results of wrong actions. 

Baraka

Purified energy that flows from the presence of an enlightened being.  I may also be present at the tombs of saints, or places touched by Allah’s mercy. 

Dhikr

Remembering Allah, declaring the unity of Allah, in acting Him in accordance with the Prophet’s behavior. 

Diwan

A collection of teaching songs or odes, designed to inspire the mureeds on their journey to realization. 

Fuqara'

The derivation of wayfarers on the path. Fuqara’ is the plural of faqir, meaning ‘poor’. The Wayfarer or salik acknowledges his poverty for he needs Allah whereas Allah is rich beyond compare.  We come to know His wealth by our own poverty. 

Halaqa

A circle of Dhikr. 

Hadith

A tradition of the Prophet Muhammed. 

Hadith Qudsi

A saying of Allah spoken on the tongue of the Prophet that is not in the Qur'an. 

Hasbi Allah

Allah is enough for me! 

Hidayat

Divine Guidance. 

Iman

Trust in the ‘real’, having the inner panorama of enlightened perception. 

Is’tighfar

Turning to Allah, seeking his covering of your wrong actions. 

Kufi

Type of head covering, a hat worn to show reverence and dignity especially in prayer and at gatherings of mureeds. 

Ma’ rifa

Knowledge of Allah.  Intimacy with the divine. 

Maghrib

Sunset prayer. 

Ma sha Allah

Allah decreed it.  It is as it is, by His command. 

Mudhakkir

The one who is in remembrance of Allah. 

Murid

Mureed comes from ‘irada’, (will).  The Mureed gives up his will to that of Allah’s. 

Qur'an

The book of Allah, revealed through the angel Jibril to the Messenger of Allah, Muhammed (SAW) 

Shaykh

In Sufi terms, a realized teacher, able to guide and teach others the science of awakening. 

Shaytan

That energy that induces humankind to be distracted and deflected from the path that leads to completeness. 

Subhan Allah

Glory is Allah’s.  Everything is swimming in the ocean of Allah’s merciful care.

Tasbih

Prayer beads.  It also refers to repetitive formulas of divine invocations. 

Tawhid

The unity of all things. Oneness. 

Zahid

He who does without.  A Zahid may have little or much on this world, but it does not affect his submission and total reliance on Allah.